“Lately, in order to want to sleep with someone, I actually have to them as a person.” He said this as if it were a mind-blowing revelation.I told him that, at 31, the realization was probably a bit overdue, but I knew what he meant: As one gets older, it becomes harder and harder to be attracted to someone simply because of the way they look.It is so funny to see how some social behaviors are exactly the same between France and the US, and others are completely different. Well, this was a big shock to me when I arrived in the US. I understood of course a man and a woman could be interested in each other in a romantic way, let me reassure you.One of the very obvious difference is the dating game. But I was not aware that accepting to go out to dinner with a man alone gave the signal that I was possibly romantically interested in him. Most of the things that will determine the success or demise of your relationship don’t hinge on how generally attractive either of you is, and the bulk of the general suggestions I would give someone are identical no matter who they’re dating. Always be working on yourself, always be reinforcing your connection with her, always trust her, and always talk about the things you least want to talk about.I guess I’ll share a few things that are perhaps more important if your partner is exceptionally generally attractive, but all three are things you should be applying no matter what. When lots of other people want to sleep with your girlfriend, it’s even more important. Some men, acting out of insecurity, try to limit how much their girlfriends are allowed to talk to other men, or they’ll try to intimidate other men into not flirting with their girlfriends. Not only is it impossible (and exhausting) to monitor your girlfriend at all times, attempting to do so will rightly cause her to resent you, destroying your connection, the very thing she has with you that other men can’t offer and thus her main reason not to cheat.
I did the same thing as a girl, talking about my boyfriend (actually existing or not) early on in the conversation. And some people are just not faithful, but contrary to popular opinion, it’s not worse in France than anywhere else (and several studies demonstrate it). It’s in our genes and it’s socially accepted in France.My friends all have boyfriends, and I’m really looking to settle down. By the way, it never gets farther than kissing with me. Men leap to attention and whisper to each other before approaching. As a result, you become a lifelong target—a trophy for men to bag.I realize that if they don’t stick around because I won’t have sex with them, then at least I know. It seems that attractive girls only get guys that want to sleep with them. Yes, the pretty girl has more dates than she needs and probably has a waiting list a mile long. Well, if you’re a pretty girl or you know a pretty girl, you know exactly what’s wrong. And make no mistake about it, most men want to bag you. I’m as sensitive a guy as you’re going to find in terms of how I communicate with women, but I can still remember the rush of dating a Perfect 10.There will never be a shortage of men who will want to sleep with your girlfriend. The very controlling behavior you practice to keep her from cheating encourages her to cheat.The more freedom and respect you show your girlfriend, the less likely she will be to cheat on you, because she’ll genuinely enjoy being with you.The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do.